Boundaries & Communication Guide

Healthy boundaries protect your recovery, your energy, and your peace. This guide helps you set clear limits and communicate them with confidence.

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits you set to protect your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. They define what you will and won't accept in relationships, situations, and environments.

Boundaries are not: Walls, punishments, or ways to control others.
Boundaries are: Clear statements about your needs, values, and limits.

Types of Boundaries

Physical Boundaries

  • Personal space and touch
  • Who can enter your home
  • Physical safety and comfort

Emotional Boundaries

  • What topics you'll discuss
  • How much you share
  • Protecting your feelings

Time Boundaries

  • When you're available
  • Saying no to commitments
  • Prioritizing your needs

Recovery Boundaries

  • Avoiding triggering places/people
  • Protecting your sobriety
  • Non-negotiable recovery activities

How to Communicate Boundaries

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first. That's normal. Use this formula:

"I need/want [boundary] because [reason]. Can you [request]?"

Examples:

With Family

  • "I need to leave by 8pm because I have a meeting. Can you understand that's non-negotiable for me?"
  • "I'm not comfortable discussing my past right now. Can we talk about something else?"

With Friends

  • "I can't be around drinking right now. Can we meet for coffee instead?"
  • "I need some alone time to recharge. Can we reschedule for next week?"

At Work

  • "I can't stay late tonight because I have a commitment. Can this wait until tomorrow?"
  • "I need to take my lunch break. Can you ask someone else to cover this?"

In Recovery

  • "I need to protect my recovery. I won't be around that environment anymore."
  • "My meetings are non-negotiable. I'll be available after 7pm."

When People Push Back

Not everyone will respect your boundaries. Here's how to respond:

Common Responses & How to Handle Them

They say: "You're being selfish."
You say: "I'm taking care of myself. That's not selfish—it's necessary."

They say: "You've changed."
You say: "You're right. I'm growing and that's a good thing."

They say: "Just this once won't hurt."
You say: "I've made my decision. Please respect that."

They ignore your boundary:
You enforce: Leave the situation, end the conversation, or reduce contact.

Remember

Boundaries aren't mean. They're necessary. People who respect you will honor your limits. Those who don't may need distance until they can.

Practice Worksheet

Identify Your Boundaries

What boundaries do you need to set? Use this space to think through it:

How Will You Communicate It?